The feud between Khizr Khan and Republican presidential nominee Donald Trump may be the strangest tale in an election season with no shortage of weirdness. Evocative of Joe the Plumber, himself a foreshadowing of the illiberal populism the Trump brand exploits, Khan represents the concerns of another demographic: American Muslims, and indeed all minorities under…Continue Reading ›
Chris Christie Staffers In Trouble Over Recovered Text Messages
Forget SnapChat—the only messages that disappear after you send them are whispers. If you want to keep something secret, don’t give into convenience. You must avoid the digital realm, for it leaves behind too many artifacts. This principle of secrecy has been demonstrated numerous in recent history; from the Sony and DNC leaks to the hawkish cables of…Continue Reading ›
Chipotle Is Trying to Win Customers Back with Free Beer
For all the value of an eight dollar burrito the size of my head, it’s difficult to justify eating at Chipotle Mexican Grill. After the March 2008 hepatitis outbreak, I became cautious. After the April 2008 norovirus outbreak, I started having second thoughts. After the February 2009 campylobacter jejuni outbreak, I said “What the fuck is campylobacter jejuni, and should…Continue Reading ›
Glow-in-the-dark Concrete Could Change the Way We Light City Streets
Glow-in-the-dark cement could change the world. An invention by José Carlos Rubio Avalos could revolutionize the way we light city streets. The Mexican scientist has developed glow-in-the-dark cement—which when added to concrete, could pave the way for lampless, eco-friendly streets. According to CNN: “The energy-efficient material soaks up sunlight during the daytime and begins to emit…Continue Reading ›
Democrats Tepidly Nominate Hillary Clinton Amidst Concerns About Her Viability
On Tuesday, delegates to the Democratic National Convention nominated Hillary Clinton for president. The raucous political convention had been shaken by the revelation that senior DNC officials plotted to undermine the Bernie Sanders campaign and have long favored Clinton. On Friday, Wikileaks published nearly 20,000 emails from DNC officials. The content of these leaks outraged Sanders supporters…Continue Reading ›
Newly Developed Graphene ‘Super Battery’ Charges In Seconds, Lasts Forever
Consumer demands and environmental concerns are two of the biggest factors driving researchers to improve batteries. One researcher at Australia’s Swinburne University has managed to create a battery that satiates both desires: an environmentally-friendly battery that charges in seconds, and virtually never goes bad. Researcher Han Lin created the battery using 3D printed graphene, one of…Continue Reading ›
How Cockroach Milk Could End World Hunger
Researchers Think Cockroach ‘Milk’ Could Feed Our Growing Population Try to contain the urge to vomit as we build toward a conclusion. Over population is the concern that advances in healthcare and quality of life are causing population growth that our planet’s limited resources can’t support. As nobody can argue the morality of forcible castration,…Continue Reading ›
DNC Planned To Reward Big Donors With Cushy Government Jobs, Leaked Emails Reveal
Democrats Face Bad Optics as Democratic National Convention Kicks Off The Democratic National Convention is already underway, but optics for Democratic Party insiders are looking increasingly bad after leaked emails uncovered widespread and systematic favoritism among committee members. And the scandal doesn’t end at Bernie Sanders. Chuck Ross, a reporter at the conservative Daily Caller, unearthed…Continue Reading ›
ISIS Forces Michael Caine to Rename Himself ‘Michael Caine’
Meet the new Michael Caine. His name? Michael Caine. You aren’t having a stroke. Sir Michael Caine officially renamed himself ‘Michael Caine’ to prevent holdups with airport security. The beloved English actor was born Maurice Micklewhite, heretofore the name which appeared on his passport. Increased security due to terroristic threats from ISIS and affiliated groups has…Continue Reading ›
Elon Musk Releases Part 2 Of His Master Plan—And It’s Brilliant
Technology magnate Elon Musk isn’t shy about his bold vision for the future. Ten years ago, he purposefully “leaked” his own “master plan” to put Tesla Motors, at the time a mere side-project, on the GPS-enabled map. Yesterday, Musk released a follow-up titled “Master Plan, Part Deux”, which addresses the direction Tesla Motors will take…Continue Reading ›